Miss Miss Trees
It has been a wonderful way to help our 3 older kids cope over the years and to help introduce our youngest, Beau Henry, to his older brother.
We lost Whitt Hayes Smith on October 9, 2015. I feel like it was extra difficult because my husband and I weren’t just navigating our own grief, we were trying to help our three kids process their feelings. I had heard about Mamie’s Poppy Plates while we were in the hospital I filled out the papers for a plate. Little did I know how special Mamie’s would become to our family.
One afternoon, before Christmas, my kids and I were talking about the ornaments we were going to make to add to our Christmas tree. It hit me that Hayes would never have a glittery macaroni popsicles stick ornament hanging on our tree. I got extremely emotional and took a walk to the mailbox, where there was a letter from Mamie’s about adopting hospitals.
When I got back in the house, I talked to the kids about the possibility of adopting a hospital in honor of Hayes. We didn’t have enough money to adopt, especially that close to Christmas, but it was a nice idea for the future. The kids were determined to make it happen by Christmas. They wanted to make ornaments for every baby in Heaven and sell them to make money to adopt a hospital for Hayes.
It was the most beautiful conversation and a brief moment that literally saved me from my own grief. In that moment “Hayes’ Miss Miss Trees” was started. My older two started experimenting with materials we had and we ended up using sticks from our family’s land and ribbon. My youngest came up with the name - he couldn’t say Christmas and it came out Miss Miss - which was PERFECT. The boys helped me cut ribbon, my daughter coordinated the colors and I tied and hot glued.
We made 20 ornaments and took them to the school, where I taught and my older 2 attended at the time. We sold them fo $10. I was hoping to just sell one so my kids wouldn’t be disappointed. I sent an email out to my coworkers and all 20 sold by lunch and I was taking orders for more. We posted about it on Facebook and had tons of orders. From the donations, that year, we were able to adopt two hospitals!
We’ve been making Hayes’ Miss Miss Trees since 2015. We make them for anyone and we ship them anywhere. They are any color you could imagine. People buy them for all kinds of reasons - for their children, grandchildren or family members, just to donate, teacher gifts, ornament exchanges and to honor their angel babies.
Each year we adopt our local hospital, Northwest Hospital in Bentonville, that serves our community. Throughout the year, we receive the most beautiful letters from families in our area that have received plates with Hayes’ name on them. These letters mean the world to me and are constant reminder that Hayes was here and that his life has a purpose. I am so sad for these families because I understand the grief, but I am so thankful for those that have walked this path ahead of them and turned their grief into support.
*Side note, I used to get so upset that my husband and I processed our grief differently and I know so many other moms have shared this frustration. My husband worked in the Northwest Hospital ER. A few years ago, I found out that he kept Miss Miss Trees in his locker, at work, to pass out to anyone that had a baby pass away while in the ER. I still get choked up thinking up my husband sharing our story with complete strangers and realizing that this is how he processed his grief, by helping others during their hardest moment.
Here are a few pictures of Hayes’ Miss Miss Trees over the years. And I added a few other ways we include Hayes in family pictures and our Christmas cards. We have a Hayes bear that the kids sometimes hold in our pictures, sometimes we’ll add his name and rainbows or colorful cards.
*Another side note. My husband and I saw a rainbow the day we found out we had lost Hayes. Rainbows have always been a sign of God’s promise and that’s how we explained Hayes’ death to our kids - even though he’s gone, God let us know right away that we will be okay. We have rainbows throughout our house to remind us that Hayes is with us always. It has been a wonderful way to help our 3 older kids cope over the years and to help introduce our youngest, Beau Henry, to his older brother.
I feel like I just poured my heart out into words, but if it can help just one person, it will be worth it. 💙 Merry Christmas and thank you for everything that Mamie’s Poppy Plates has done for our family and so many families like ours.
Kali Smith
